thursday things ~ time management and defining riverbanks
by Katie Webster
May 28, 2015 (updated 7/13/20)
It’s been a while since I have felt moved to write a Thursday Things post about something other than cooking. But I feel like it is time today because it is a follow up to this post about the size of the purse where we left off on the topic of time management.
I met with my friend Kim two weeks ago. I called her because she is sort of like my mentor when it comes to my career, and I was really needing a check in with her as I head into the summer and then into this fall which’ll be filled with my cookbook promotion. I have been continuing to struggle with time management but that wasn’t the point of our getting together.
I Was Ready to Listen
After our meeting there were dozens of new ideas rattling around in my brain, but one of the most desperately poignant things I kept thinking about was about time management. Kim said to me, “The Mississippi is just a puddle without riverbanks. You just need to know what your riverbanks are.” She went on to tell me that when she was raising her daughters, she worked from home too, but when they got home from school she stopped working. They’d make crepes. This sounded so good to me I wanted to burst into tears right there in the middle of Starbucks.
I don’t know why this was like a sudden light bulb for me. I’ve had friends tell me the same thing in other words. Heck I have said the same thing in other words. But I think Kim was giving me permission to create those river banks and I was ready to listen.
I decided with in a day or so of seeing her that I am going to stop working at 3 pm. Which if you know about my dysfunctional schedule, then you’ll know this is MAJOR news.
I told my daughters about it and they were excited and confused and probably a little bummed that I would be paying enough attention to them to make sure that they were doing their home work and not having cage matches. “You mean we can’t watch TV?”
Letting it Settle in
So then I was doing a little pre-VCM run with my friend Lauren and I was telling her why I am not working after 3pm and the decision was scary and I wasn’t sure how to do it. And I wasn’t sure what that would do to my work and if (horrors) my page-views plummeted and my time for freelance work and income started to dip would I be okay with that? She said something that was really helpful to me too which was, “Sometimes when we shift our goals it may take a little time to internalize them.”
Which made me feel a huge sigh of relief. Because right now I am not set up to just up and stop work at 3pm. I am going to try my damnedest, but sometimes it won’t be possible. But moving forward I am keeping that in the front of my mind when I schedule thing and when I take on projects.
The reason I am telling you all this is twofold. One so that if I am not online as much you’ll know this is why. And second. Maybe either Kim or Lauren’s advice applies to something in your life and maybe it can help you too. Do they?
ugh. It so applies to me. You are amazing for doing this Katie! Can I ask how the 3pm goal is going since you wrote this in May? I wish I had more of a handle on my time!
Honestly it has been a struggle. I do better at it when I can get a lot done before they get home. But sometimes if I have appointments or whatever during the day I end up not getting enough done. It is a work in process, but keeping it in mind has totally helped a ton.
I love this, Katie. I too struggle with time, (as I think we all do), but I really like your friends’ advice and how you’re going to apply it!
Thank you Rebecca. I hope this post helps others, as I know I’m not the only one who wishes for more hours in the day!
Of course you know I’m not a parent but as a teacher of young children, I do have some opinions… If you want to know what’s going on at school with kids the ages of your girls, you need to give them some time as soon as they get home. By dinnertime, whenever that is in your house, they will have forgotten. My mother was almost always home when I got home and we’d sit at the kitchen table and knowing me, I probably told her everything that happened, good and bad. I also told her what I’d learned and it makes me laugh to think that I’d say something like “Mom, do you know how many bones are in the human body?” And she’d say with a perfectly straight face “No dear, tell me!” It was great. Then at dinnertime you can lead them in the conversation so Jace can hear too. Even if you just start out with being with them from 3-4, I bet you’d really find out some great stuff. It would be like sharing on the rug in Second Grade… ;-D
You are so so right Debbie. When they get off the bus it’s hard to get a word in edgewise. It’ll be good to not be distracted while that is happening. I love the image of the conversation of a tiny Debbie earnestly telling about the number of bones in the human body! So great to have your support and feedback on this topic Debbie! Hugs to you! 🙂
these are some valuable words…our goals change and like she said, it does take a little time to adjust but at the end of the day, it comes to your peace of mind 🙂
This is so true. My friend Aimee, tells me, when I start to feel those guilty feelings (in this case about not working) I just need to shut it down. I think she is totally right! That’s what my goal is!